An Idea

The idea for this blog came to me in the car, trying to nap before work. The night before I spent the evening in the ER. Mother fell hard enough that all the nurses at the care center heard it. She needed a CT scan to check for damage. She was okay. She went back to the care center. I came home to piles of her boxes taking over my living room, kitchen, and bedroom. Boxes of things to deal with. Boxes and boxes of photos and mementos need to be scanned and distributed to the family. Possessions need to find just the right family member that wants it and will cherish it. Heirlooms that need shadow boxes, aesthetic framing and history preservation to ensure their survival for future family generations. Then there's the storage units.

Mother has been at the care center for a year. Why am I still struggling with all these things??? 

The reality is the family is large and scattered. Navigating the needs of 5 generations is a bit daunting. I could light everything on fire and be done with it. Despite my brother's encouragement he panics every time I go through a box without him. 

Mother has four children. There's a first set of three, my brother and two sisters (J, E, & L). Then there's me. I'm not exaggerating. Twenty years separate me from the oldest, my brother. When I was born my mother was 40. My brother was 20. My sisters were 19 and 17. In fact, my sister had her first child before I was born and was pregnant with her second. My nieces are more like cousins than nieces. 

The sisters' families live out of state, in my home state. I could haul everything to our living sister, L. She'd love it. L would take it all. Would she go through it, preserve it, and distribute things to our deceased sister's kids/grandkids/great-grandkids? Probably not. I have nightmares of her passing away leaving everything to her mentally challenged only child. I end up as a conservator, struggling to deal with all of it all over again. 

Our deceased sister's kids are still struggling with her things. E passed in 2013 and they are still trying to divide things. One niece has so much stuff and so many medical/mobility issues her mother's stuff is stuck in the basement. Will her kids or grandkids ever know the stories attached to the things? Will they just light a match to the house and free themselves of the generational trauma? Will the basement flood, mold, resulting in a decontamination crew hauling generations of things? What will happen to Grandma's rings? Grandma's piano?

I'm getting ahead of myself.